


Spiderling

by SoDoRoses (FairyChess)



Series: LAOFT Extras [101]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crimes & Criminals, Gen, Partners in Crime, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Robbie Harris (OC) Eat Pavement Challenge, Vandalism, jokes about murder that are only barely jokes, the author knows NOTHING about programming, they just wreck the bullys shit basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23612002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyChess/pseuds/SoDoRoses
Summary: Elliot’s dad is probably gonna say things like “falling in with the wrong crowd,” but Elliot’s pretty sure this crowd is actually perfect.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Elliott (Cartoon Therapy), a Big Platonic Pile basically
Series: LAOFT Extras [101]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1365505
Comments: 34
Kudos: 506





	Spiderling

**Author's Note:**

> takes place a couple months after the second chapter of _Group Chat_
> 
> [The Mystery Beeping Prank](https://www.instructables.com/id/Mystery-Beeping-Prank/) (oldie but goodie)
> 
> Many thanks to @trivia-goddess for beta-reading!

It had taken Elliot an embarrassingly long time to figure out that V didn’t wear bedazzled clothing.

And it wasn’t like V was walking around looking like a disco ball – just the occasional spot of glitter, what Elliot assumed was a broach or maybe a bit of beading.

Elliot was, of course, wrong. Aside from a small collection of silver rings that seemed more for fidgeting than anything else, V didn’t wear jewelry.

V wore _his sisters._

To say Elliot had been startled the first time one of the “brooches” had shivered and then scurried onto their hand where they’d touched V’s shoulder would be the understatement of the year – it was only V’s immediate, affectionate scolding of her that had kept Elliot from losing it entirely.

But they’d just been surprised – Elliot did like spiders, and she was a _delight._ Elliot would never say so out loud and risk hurting any of their feelings, but she was probably Elliot’s favorite. She was blue-ish, and one of the bigger ones - about the size of a half-dollar. Elliot had called her Clue in a fit of childish nostalgia and it stuck.

Elliot let her crawl across their hands, turning them palm over palm to give her a continuous surface – all the girls thought it was a wonderful game, and it was so simple Elliot couldn’t bear to tell them no. There were other sisters scattered over Elliot and V’s bodies, and the occasional glitter in the grass that let Elliot know there were even more than they could see.

“Are you sure you’re not cold?”

“I’m fine,” said Elliot, smiling exasperatedly, “I’ve been cooped up in my house with my _parents_ and _Chad_ all winter. A nippy breeze is the lesser of two evils,”

V narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“So you _are_ cold,” he said, “Also-”

He paused for a moment, thinking.

“…Chad Pennybacker Eat Pavement Challenge…?”

Elliot burst into hysterics so violently it morphed into a hacking cough, startling the sisters off of them in a flurry of scrambling. V absolutely beamed, and Elliot rubbed their eyes with the heels of their hands.

“Oh, what the hell-”

“Remy told me that one,” said V smugly, “Well- he said ‘Robbie Harris Eat Pavement Challenge,’ but it still works,”

“Ugh,” said Elliot, still grinning, “Those two. Peas in a horrible pod,”

“Only good to sharpen knives, both of them,”

Elliot pretended not to know V meant that _way more literally_ than not.

“Well, small victories,” Elliot conceded, “Robbie hasn’t been anywhere _near_ my house since you and the Adams kids started your campaign of vengeance. Chad always goes over to his. _Massive_ improvement over when we were kids,”

V sat up, scowling.

“You _too?_ ” he demanded, “Is there anyone in this town this asshole hasn’t harassed? Because he’s making it _very_ tempting to kill him but I’m not allowed. It’s annoying,”

Elliot _also_ pretended not to hear the distinctly petulant tone of V’s voice. Politely.

“Honestly? Probably not,” they said, “Robbie and my brother pretty much held a reign of terror over… all of us. At least people my age, anyway,”

“That’s it,” said V, and suddenly he was on his feet, “Up you get, Spiderling, we’re going hunting,”

“Going _what?_ ” said Elliot, strangled.

“No killing,” V huffed, “C’mon, up!”

Elliot watched him suspiciously, but they took the hand and let V pull them to their feet.

“Bruderspinne, I don’t know what you’ve got in your head now, but-”

The ground spun, the air going black – Elliot threw their free hand to steady themself as the clearing became an unfamiliar barn, flinching at a sudden _shriek_.

“Jesus shitting _Christ_ , V!”

“Calm down,”

“Oh, fuck you!” said Polly, picking up a can and pitching it at him. V batted it away.

Nate and Remy looked up from the stove, and Nate crossed his arms.

“… You brought a toddler,” he said slowly, “To our crime syndicate,”

“Hey!”

“Chill,” said Remy, rolling his eyes, “We’re not the mafia. Hey, Small Fry, you here to buy?”

“Uh- no,” said Elliot.

“Well, whatcha need then?”

“Vengeance,” said V lightly, picking at his nails.

Like they’d been pulled on strings, all the Adams kids went bolt upright, going from confused to laser-focused in a second.

“Oh-ho-ho, do share,” said Polly, eyes bright.

Elliot looked between the three of them and V, hesitant.

Remy glanced at V.

“No pressure, though, right?” he said.

V blinked at him, confused, then looked at Elliot.

“… Oh,” he said, “I- you don’t _have_ to, I just…”

Trailing off, V looked a bit forlorn, but also like he was trying to hide it.

Elliot took a deep breath.

“Uh- okay,” they said, “Why not?”

V smiled.

“You _sure?_ ” pressed Remy.

“I’m sure,”

Polly let out a _whoop_ of joy, leaping to her feet.

“Come on, baby gay, time to do some crime!”

V took Elliot’s hand, beaming and pulling them forward, and Elliot took a moment to wonder exactly what they’d just gotten themself into.

—

Remy sauntered out of Pepperoni’s, crossing the parking lot and grinning when he reached the truck. V was doing his usual terrifying, casual juggling of knives in the cab – Elliot was glancing between him, Nate, and Polly nervously.

“Got it,” said Remy.

“Got what?” asked Elliot.

Remy pulled the keys out of his pocket.

“Car keys,” he replied, “Figured we’d start small. Polly, you got a nail file?”

“Of course you ask the _girl_ for the nail file-”

“You’ve never filed your nails, you carry them for crime and don’t fake otherwise,”

Rolling her eyes, Polly handed it over.

Remy held out the key and the metal file.

“So you know how a lock works?”

V peeked his head out of the truck, and he and Elliot both looked endearingly interested as they nodded.

“So you just-”

Remy picked a couple teeth at random, filing them down.

“Key’ll be useless,” he continued, “I ditch it by his car, he assumes he dropped it, but he’s good and stranded,”

“Sucks to be him,” said Polly primly.

Elliot watched Remy’s hands, considering.

“What is it, Spiderling?” said V.

Elliot hesitated.

“… Hey, Pranks,” they said, “Do you have… another nail file?”

Polly grinned.

“I _absolutely_ do,”

—

“Look,” said Nate, “Are we cutting his brake lines, or not? We’re on a time crunch,”

“Yes,” said Polly.

“No,” said Remy.

“Maybe?” Elliot hedged.

V huffed.

“No,” he said, “Not allowed to kill him, remember?”

“Cutting brake lines isn’t murder,”

“But it is voluntary manslaughter if he dies,” said Remy, “So _no,_ ”

“Only if we get _caught,”_

“You’re outvoted, Polly,” said Nate, “C’mere, kid- let me show you how to tag,”

Nate handed Elliot a can of spray paint – red, to show up against the blue of Robbie’s car. He showed them how to keep their hand steady and the line even, but suddenly they dropped the can.

“Uh, Ell-”

“Turn it off!” snapped Elliot, their voice angry and uncharacteristically sharp. Nate did, mostly out of surprise.

When Nate turned to watch them dart away, he realized V had up and bolted. He was several dozen yards across the impound lot, almost invisible in the dim light, holding his hands over his nose and mouth and looking like he was trying not to be sick.

“Shit,” muttered Remy.

“Yikes,” said Polly, “Okay- no spray paint when V’s around, I guess,”

Elliot had wrapped their arms around V’s waist, squeezing him, and well- okay, Nate was a human being, alright? He wasn’t _immune_ to cute.

“Do we have a plan B?” said Remy.

Nate considered.

“Well…” he said, “We could always just key it,”

Polly looked over at their two dark haired companions, still hugging.

“Do you think V’s knives can go through metal?”

—

“I really don’t think I’m gonna be much help for this,” said Elliot.

“Don’t be silly,” said Polly, giving them a tap on the shoulder with her fist and smiling, “You can’t be any worse at electronics than these two,”

“You handle the beepy shit, I handle the chemicals,” said Remy flatly.

“C'mere,” said Polly, “So, the codes pretty simple, just a random tone and interval-”

Polly walked them through it, and Elliot nodded sheepishly at the end.

“I don’t think I’ll remember it,” they said, “But it’s super cool,”

“Nonsense,” said Polly, “I’ll make a programmer out of you yet, or my name ain’t Mary Anne,”

“ _Polly!_ ” said Remy, exasperated.

Elliot startled, and Polly glanced at V, who was looking amused.

“Forget that,” she said, jabbing a finger.

“No,”

“Your middle name’s Anne?” said Elliot.

Polly sighed.

“Yeah,” she said.

Elliot’s smile widened.

“Mine, too!”

Polly blinked and then grinned again.

“V, I’m stealing your baby gay,”

“No, you’re not,”

“Can’t stop me,”

—

Elliot was giggling.

Which, maybe they shouldn’t be, considering they were currently breaking into a house, but Virgil couldn’t bring himself to tell them to stop.

Elliot was directing their own gaggle of Virgil’s sister’s, showing them the best spots to leave the sticky masses of web – places that would be hard to notice and easy to miss until scumbag put his hand right in them.

Said scumbag was _supposed_ to be with Elliot’s sub-par brother (and didn’t Virgil relate) for at least another hour, but of course he couldn’t do even _that_ right.

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs startled them both, and Elliot froze. Grabbing them, Virgil pulled them into a corner and darkened the shadows until they were both invisible.

Robbie entered, looking amusingly haggard. They were going on a week nonstop at this point, and it was showing.

Hidden in the ceiling, Polly’s device beeped, and Robbie groaned in frustration. Elliot covered their mouth to hide another snicker.

He spent several minutes searching for it, but it didn’t sound again. Virgil amused himself by directing the shadows around the room to trip him, tug at his clothes, darken ominously until Robbie was looking warily around the room.

Elliot let out another giggle, and this time Robbie seemed to hear it. He spun, eyes darting, and Elliot couldn’t seem to contain the outright laugh.

Virgil couldn’t help but be endeared. He let Elliot’s laugh echo, layering it with magic until it was just as unsettling as his own. The shadows around the room became more obvious, rearing up until Robbie could clearly see the tendrils and the rippling.

The beep sounded again, and Virgil hadn’t done anything to _that,_ but it seemed to be the final straw. Robbie _shrieked,_ leaping about a foot in the air, bolting from the room and tripping over the shadows nipping at his ankle, screaming about “god damn fairy prank bullshit.”

Virgil pulled Elliot with him into the shadow – they came up in the woods, and Elliot leaned over their stomach. Virgil thought they were nauseous, but when they stood their eyes were bright and shining.

“Bruderspinne,” they said, grinning, “Can we do that to Chad?”

Virgil beamed.

“We absolutely can,”

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me over on tumblr at @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors!


End file.
